Wednesday, November 20, 2013

When words stub

Strong words are two edged sword.  It either makes you or breaks you.  Despite the psychological-behavior-conscious-observer that I am, there are times when patience and resilience seem too evasive in my own understanding.  No one gets to be spared I guess, we after all are human.

But how do you help yourself to bounce back when words hurt you?  No one-way to do it.

Lucky to have access to some relationship gurus, I have tried some that works well for me.

I would like to share this  at this time, because in this week alone I heard from 3 friends hurting for different reasons.  As for me, it helps liberate my inner feelings as always. As I write this, it helps me fight a personal struggle too.  Forgiving and committing to be healed when you're hurting is not an easy task but it shows that a conscious change in perspective would help, and that benefit is mostly yours/ours.

1. ASK YOURSELF WHY - hidden beyond our visual 'self' or the personality that others see,  is our ego.  That part which explains why we got affected by certain situations.    Most often, it has triggered, violated or pounded something that you value. Understanding why will point you to specific areas in your life where the hurt have huge impact.  Now, is this something you need to act upon?

2. FORGIVE & FORGET - Forgive the person. Forget the situation.  It may be hard to get your mind off the painful words, but making yourself a slave of the memory won't allow you to forgive the person. 

3. WRITE A LETTER - I find 'writing' a liberating emotional exercise.  It frees you from your own self imposed emotional slavery.  Write a lengthy letter pouring everything you have felt or are still feeling.  Then, burn it.  It will surprise you how dumping your feelings in a piece of paper would lift the heaviness in your heart. Then, do # 2.

4. CONSCIOUSLY, STAY HEALED - Not that you avoid the feeling of momentary anger or resentment when the memory comes back. You have all the right to feel the "feeling". It is not wrong. Acknowledge the feeling but drive them out right away.  It's one thing I learned from "The Secret". Only let the positive settle in.

5.  PRAY - Acknowledge that a higher being has the gentle hand to soothe you. Psalm 56:3 says:

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.

At the end of the day, what we feel is our life's choice.  I am not implying it would be easy, but I am cheerfully hoping it's worth the try.  Fight the stub and choose to 'un-stub".  Borrowing from Francis Kong, "forgiveness and healing are one". Read his blog  here

 May the words of love be on our lips in everything we say.
pictures grabbed from Pinterest

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