When words stub

Strong words are two edged sword.  It either makes you or breaks you.  Despite the psychological-behavior-conscious-observer that I am, there are times when patience and resilience seem too evasive in my own understanding.  No one gets to be spared I guess, we after all are human.

But how do you help yourself to bounce back when words hurt you?  No one-way to do it.

Lucky to have access to some relationship gurus, I have tried some that works well for me.

I would like to share this  at this time, because in this week alone I heard from 3 friends hurting for different reasons.  As for me, it helps liberate my inner feelings as always. As I write this, it helps me fight a personal struggle too.  Forgiving and committing to be healed when you're hurting is not an easy task but it shows that a conscious change in perspective would help, and that benefit is mostly yours/ours.


1. ASK YOURSELF WHY - hidden beyond our visual 'self' or the personality that others see,  is our ego.  That part which explains why we got affected by certain situations.    Most often, it has triggered, violated or pounded something that you value. Understanding why will point you to specific areas in your life where the hurt have huge impact.  Now, is this something you need to act upon?

2. FORGIVE & FORGET - Forgive the person. Forget the situation.  It may be hard to get your mind off the painful words, but making yourself a slave of the memory won't allow you to forgive the person. 

3. WRITE A LETTER - I find 'writing' a liberating emotional exercise.  It frees you from your own self imposed emotional slavery.  Write a lengthy letter pouring everything you have felt or are still feeling.  Then, burn it.  It will surprise you how dumping your feelings in a piece of paper would lift the heaviness in your heart. Then, do # 2.

4. CONSCIOUSLY, STAY HEALED - Not that you avoid the feeling of momentary anger or resentment when the memory comes back. You have all the right to feel the "feeling". It is not wrong. Acknowledge the feeling but drive them out right away.  It's one thing I learned from "The Secret". Only let the positive settle in.

5.  PRAY - Acknowledge that a higher being has the gentle hand to soothe you. Psalm 56:3 says:

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.

 

At the end of the day, what we feel is our life's choice.  I am not implying it would be easy, but I am cheerfully hoping it's worth the try.  Fight the stub and choose to 'un-stub".  Borrowing from Francis Kong, "forgiveness and healing are one". Read his blog  here http://franciskong.com/bite-size-wisdom/forgiveness-and-healing/.

 May the words of love be on our lips in everything we say.

 

 

pictures grabbed from Pinterest

 

 

ORA et LABORA at Shh, tumulong ka nalang.

ORA et LABORA

Taught and raised by the Scholastican congregation - putting value to PRAYER & WORK.

Give humbly. Others need not know what you do.

If you strongly insist on a thing that HAS to be done - GO AND DO IT yourself.  While some  opinions MAY be right and inadequacies are apparent, lambasting and playing "coach" won't save the Visayas  from their misery.  At this point,  it's better to be kind than right.

If you have nothing good, encouraging and inspiring words to say - then don't.  Seek first to understand. 

Better, simply pray for everyone and anyone who can be an instrument of change, may it be people in authority or lay men.  Heroes come in all forms, most often those that we least expect.

Please, for our country's sake, magdasal at.. (sabi nga sa social networking sites)

SHH, TUMULONG KA NALANG.

Happy and New!

Must be my age and hormones. Suddenly the turning of this year seemed more pivotal than all other new years I have welcomed in the past. Plus the moving to another continent, starting careers once again, the gaining and losing... made me I guess a little more  reflective than I have ever been. But I realized ... I am actually enjoying them!  And so, as hopefully as I can be.. I have these new things to be excited about this year. I don't know what to call it.  Goals? Resolutions? Realizations? or are they just pure wishful thinking!

With much prayers and with little help of my crossed fingers, I hope I'll make 2013 as meaningful as it can be.

1.  One new challenge, a year at a time.  To do something new each year, a new thing or activity I haven't done in the past.  And this year, my big challenge is:  *Tada! To BUILD. Yup, as in gumawa, lumikha, bumoo, magkutingting ng kung ano ano! And since my husband is an architect and a craftsman himself, I think I will be propped up in this department.  Hintayin nga lang ang summer and spring for the those little carpentry works. :)

2.  It will be a year of many new! Creativity is my game.  Learn new skills.  Explore.  Try activities I haven't done before.  I started by reading craft books.  I'm getting giddy looking at the quaint designs! Well this is quite tied up to my no. 1 above.   I also want to design, sew and draw.  (cause until now, drawing a person would still mean drawing 1 circle and 5 sticks together)


3.  Focus on things that I have. Nurture the present.  While I have tons of things listed in my wishlist, I'll try to focus on things that God has already given me and be enormously grateful for gifts I most often take for granted.  I am trying to practice a sunshiney heart that beats gratitude...especially for the things I did not control but was put together wonderfully for me. Like where I was born, to whom I was born and how I was raised.  I am also grateful to the people I have met and the places I have called home even for a short period of time. (San Mateo,California, Las Pinas, Paranaque, Quezon City, Richmond & Surrey, BC)

I appreciate the things I now recognize as talents but used to take for granted, like my (just the right amount) english proficiency, ability to write (business or just plain blogging), public speaking (despite how nerve wracking it always has been).  Heck, for someone who struggled to start all over again in a very tight-rigid-requiring-a-canadian-experience-workforce, these.. afforded me my job. I now sincerely thank Philippines' mandatory academic curriculum in English and my English teachers from Elementary to High School for seriously imposing Filipino children to learn english from an early age. Knowing how to communicate in english, became my ticket to start again. (and I'm not kidding!)

4.  Start creating and documenting memories.  Pictures, family/couple traditions.  As much as I love taking pictures and collecting keepsakes, I am guilty of plainly relying collections from friends and families.  Especially with the advent of "tagging" in social networks, I became a notorious "tagged" dependent. :)

I realize though that these memories will never ever come back and just like time, should never be wasted.  I realized I wanted to keep something for whoever is in my/our future to see.  How beautiful life is from different points in time.  I have passed by a couple of years undocumented, but it sure isn't too late to start now.  To infinity and beyond!

                

Spring and Summer 2012

 

                                           Winter 2012 (I realized we still don't have a decent picture for Winter)

5.  Prioritize to do things that makes me happy! Life is too short to worry.  I am now 33 and those numbers breezed through without me noticing it.  When I was young, I thought that people who are on their 20s are already old (ergo should be matured) and those on their 30s are toooooooo old (and again ergo should be overly matured!) ! :) I, together with many others I guess got too engrossed on living what adults ought to be and I am guilty of being too serious planning and acting it all out.  I know I have my silly, unguarded and carefree times.. but I guess making room for more and choosing to spend majority of my time to things that would genuinely make me happy will allow me to be more receptive of life's offerings.  Having been allowed the opportunity to recalibrate (by way of migration), I'll try to carefully choose to do things that will make my time more worthwhile simply because I love doing it. :)   


                                                  One of the things that makes me happy! Being with kids!

Cheers to 2013 and for things that have not yet been, but still can be. :) 

Our Happy Preppy New Year!

To maximize positive baby vibes this coming year...